I had Dionysus over for dinner
it was a disaster
he seemed so nice on the internet
posting all these great memes with classical metaphors
we became Facebook friends
messaging back and forth with ribald wit
which should have tipped me off
I assumed he’d evolved
become a 21st century hipster
heavily invested in the wine industry
holding a controlling interest in all the Ecstacy sold at all the raves
a bankster druglord
a modern god
but no
instead, suburban calm was disrupted
to the point where the neighbours all came out to gawk
holding smartphones over their heads to record the spectacle
as Dionysus arrived by chariot
not just any chariot but one pulled by lions and tigers
roaring in frenzied exaltation
some old dude with a beard was with him
I thought it might be Willie Nelson at first
but he belched, said he was Silenus and pointed over my shoulder
I turned around
up the block came a group of half-naked hippie chicks
well, it seemed that way
right out of fucking Woodstock
flowers braided into their hair and dancing just out of reach
of a bunch of randy old goats
flashing shocked onlookers with penile magnitude
impossibly proportioned
they tore through my house
grabbed all the wine
a bottle of brandy, the gin and vermouth
even the hidden bottle of 18 year old Macallan
it all disappeared
they found my stash in the drawer upstairs
gone within seconds
boring! they chorused
they dragged me along
back out and back onto the street
they started playing a reggae tune
that I knew but had never heard before
I danced with them
shedding all self-control
partying through middleclass suburbs
subverting those who looked interesting
emptying their basement bars
sparking up herbs liberated from mancaves
freeing souls from polite restraint
until the goats had their way
the dogs began barking
as middle-aged wage slaves screamed their release
of a lifetime’s fear and repression
while we drained every bottle
until the only thing left to find
was sleep
I woke up on the front lawn
snuggling between one of the hippie chicks
and mrs smith from down the block
the paperboy was nudging me with his foot
it’s almost dawn, he said
still night for another moment
I replied, with a wink
David Trudel © 2014
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